Do automated phones understand Brummie?

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After a man with a Devon accent went through hell with his local eye infirmary's automated phone service, we put some others to the test

The next time you are ill, spare a thought for Brian Evans of Devon. His attempts to make an appointment at his local eye infirmary were thwarted by the hospital's automated phone service. Unable to recognise a Devon accent, Evans spent 20 minutes being bumped from one department to another.

To share his pain, G2 tested the voice recognition systems of some of the nation's services. (And their ability to see through ridiculous comedy accents.)

Lambeth Borough Council
Clipped Afrikaans

After failing to recognise the request "I want to pay ma fokken pokkin' fine mun!" twice, the telephone robot re-routes us to a human operator, the little coward. The phone rings for ages before being answered, but we're not here to expose that.

Orange
Hardcore Black Country

Cited by many as the ultimate in unhelpful automated systems, we are disappointed when our malfunctioning dongle query is brushed aside and we are speaking to a human after 80 seconds. We never even get to say "Oi'm not sure where oi shud stick me dongle!" like Noddy Holder might.

Vue Cinemas
Dour Scottish

A warning to Scottish readers in the Islington area: if you fancy tickets for the late afternoon showing of The Inbetweeners, you're in for a rough ride. After the Vue booking line fails several times to recognise the word "Ahslahngton", it seems to audibly lose patience and almost snaps: "Just say the name of the cinema you want." Even so, early teething troubles soon give way to icy competence – it even recognises "aye!" as an alternative affirmative response. Four minutes later our booking is complete.

TrainTracker
Lisping posh bloke

We want to travel from Seven Sisters to St Albans, but our plummy tone and nightmarish sibilance practically gives TrainTracker an aneurysm. We are offered trips to Somerset and Bristol, and are repeatedly ordered to switch to the keypad. It then mistakes "seven" for "three", which is unacceptable. Six minutes in, and St Albans still seems a very long way away.

http://twitter.com/#!/tweetcashmore

• Voice recognition

Pete Cashmore

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2011 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds

Josh Halliday 25 Aug, 2011

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Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/aug/24/automated-phones-understand-brummie
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