Pass notes No 3,020: Internet Explorer

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Can it really be true that users of Internet Explorer are stupider than average?

Age: Sixteen years, or nine-and-a-half versions.

Appearance: Quaint, without ever actually acquiring charm.

Wait a minute . . . I use Internet Explorer! Are you calling me quaint and charmless? Of course not! You're delightful.

Good. It's just that, like half the people in the world, you happen to be stupider than average.

How dare you! Don't get upset. You're still very important to us clever people. We need you to run our errands.

What gives you the right to call me stupid just because I use Internet Explorer? Scientific research. A study carried out by AptiQuant, a Canadian psychometrics firm, found that of the 101,326 people who completed its online IQ test, those who did so using Internet Explorer were the least intelligent.

You mean their website just knew which browser people were using? Yes. Well done. I am genuinely impressed you were able to deduce that.

Stop patronising me. Sorry. I'm trying to talk at your level, but it is difficult without knowing which version of Internet Explorer you use.

I'll check. It's under "Help". Then click "About Internet Explorer".

I know . . . OK. It says I use version 8. Wow! People like you have an average IQ of about 90. That's only 10 points below the population mean, and much better than the thickos on version 6, who barely scrape above 80. But also much worse than people who use Firefox, Safari or Chrome. They're around 110.

But why is it so dumb to choose Internet Explorer? Because you don't, mostly. Microsoft just installs it with Windows, and then stupid people, knowing their limitations, never pluck up the courage to try something else.

What do you use? Me? Oh, I prefer Opera. Our average is pushing 130.

That's not the only thing you're pushing. That was a very witty remark. You should be proud of yourself.

Do say: "What is Internet Explorer? Can I get it on my iPad 2?"

Don't say: "I'll stick with Netscape Navigator, thanks."

• Internet Explorer

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2011 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds

Charles Arthur 03 Aug, 2011

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Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/aug/02/are-internet-explorer-users-stupid
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